Over the week-end, my daughter Katie, won the mile race for the North Carolina State Track Finals for Women. I did not go to the race, because Katie told she was afraid it would make her nervous if I attended. I did not, and she won. I instead stayed home with my son Jack. I was writing, and he was working on an amazing wooden bridge for a science project. I would peek in occasionally, and I told Jack how amazing his skills were…how profoundly he was affecting me by watching his skill. I asked him had he ever considered becoming an architect (my dad was one,) and he said “Yes…that would be really cool,” so I made a mental note.

Yesterday, Katie and I went on a very simple outing…to buy chocolate covered cherries. It was a 15 minute trip, but the entire ride was Katie retelling the race stories to me. She was so excited, and I was feeling sad that I did not attend. She said it was okay and that the retelling of the story was more exciting than my having been there. Katie told me that even the young women who were often cold and stand-offish were congratulating her, and I said “Katie…you are an amazing young woman. You are not only an athlete, but you are smart, kind, loving, and funny. The combination of your athletic skills, your great mind, and your fun spirit are very attractive. You will always be greeted with kindness because of who you are.”

I share all of this because so many parents feel that “I must be spending hours each day with my children,” when all they want is for the time you spend with them to be valuable. The sharing of the above scenarios is to tell you this: When you show others how they are profoundly affecting your life, the moments are worth millions. Showing others what they mean to you and the world is so empowering and can make five minutes last for a lifetime.

My husband, Mike, sent this story along today. I have read this before, and it is always a great read. Enjoy! Thank-you for all of the time you have shared with me. Even if it is just one e-mail, it means so much to my life.

A young man learns what’s most important in life from the guy next door.

It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man.

College, girls, career, life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him.

Over the phone, his mother told him, “Mr. Belser died last night.
The funeral is Wednesday.” Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.

“Jack, did you hear me?”

“Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It’s been so long since I thought of him. I’m sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago,” Jack said.

“Well, he didn’t forget you. Every time I saw him he’d ask how you were doing. He’d reminisce about the many days you spent over ‘his side of the fence’ as he put it,” Mom told him.

“I loved that old house he lived in,” Jack said.

“You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man’s influence in your life,” she said.

“He’s the one who taught me carpentry,” he said. “I wouldn’t be in this business if it weren’t for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important…Mom, I’ll be there for the funeral,”
Jack said.

As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown Mr. Belser’s funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.

The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time.

Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time. The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture….Jack stopped suddenly.

“What’s wrong, Jack?” his Mom asked.

“The box is gone,” he said.

“What box? ” Mom asked.

“There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk.
I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he’d ever tell me was “the thing I value most,’” Jack said.

It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it.

“Now I’ll never know what was so valuable to him,” Jack said. “I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom.”

It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died. Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. “Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days,” the note read.

Early the next day Jack retrieved the package The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention.

“Mr. Harold Belser” it read.

Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack’s hands shook as he read the note inside.

“Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It’s the thing I valued most in my life.” A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch. Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover.

Inside he found these words engraved: “Jack, Thanks for your time!
Harold Belser.”

“The thing he valued most…was…my time.”

Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days. “Why?” Janet, his assistant asked.

“I need some time to spend with my son,” he said.

“Oh, by the way, Janet…thanks for your time!”

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away,”

Think about this. You may not realize it, but it’s 100% true.

1. At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.

2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don’t like you.

5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

6. You mean the world to someone.

7. If not for you, someone may not be living.

8. You are special and unique.

9. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won’t get it, but if you trust God to do what’s best, and wait on His time, probably, sooner or later, you will get it or something better.

10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good can still come from it.

11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look:
you most likely turned your back on the world.

12. Someone that you don’t even know exists, loves you.

13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

14 Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know and you’ll both be happy.

15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.

EGO- Everybody’s Got One! and it can get us if we let them.

I have been reading quite a bit about the ego lately, and it makes perfect sense to say that the ego is the mask or curtain that hides the amazing light we are all capable of allowing to brighten up this world not just a little bit but a lot. According to Webster, the ego is “the one of the three divisions of the psyche in psychoanalytic theory that serves as the organized conscious mediator between the person and reality especially by functioning both in the perception of and adaptation to reality.” It is the conscious voice of “reason” (I call it distorted chatter) that tells us “Don’t do that…you will look stupid. Or…You can’t do that…you aren’t ready. Or…I know you are going to fail, so don’t try.”

I also believe that the ego is actually not our true selves. The ego, I believe, is the voice of others…telling us we aren’t ready, we aren’t valuable, we won’t make it, we can’t do this or that. It is a form of conditioning that is a thousand years old, and it creates a choke point in the process. When the ego is fully blown up, it can also get really, really ugly…moving from protection to controlling to down right belligerent.

In order to quiet the ego, it is important to be able to quiet the mind. The mind is very clever, and it can remember the worst of us and often ignores the best of us. To get quiet means to completely shut down to the point that the voice inside of you (your spirit or intuition) has a chance to speak. I believe this internal voice is what allows our creativity to soar and for us to be able to design our lives so that they are not only perfect for us but so that they have a postive impact on the world.

I purchased a great book over the week-end-The 72 Faces of God by Yehuda Berg. This book draws on the wisdom of The Kabbalah to provide us with 72 names to use during meditation. I am connecting with this book, because I am also still delving into Christopher Alexander’s A Pattern Language. The meditation which I used yesterday is DNA OF THE SOUL (ALEPF KAF ALEPH.) Here is this name of God’s description:

“Here you receive nothing less than the full impact of the forces of Creation. You restore meaning to the lives that often feel meaningless, and purpose to a world that often appears aimless. Order returns. Structure emerges. Everything is tidied up.”

As I sat yesterday and allowed this to enter my meditation, I began to wonder…”If everyone in the world would meditate on this thought at one time (like grid blogging…grid meditation…I am sure there is a better word for this,) I wonder…”Would order appear in our world of chaos?” Something to meditate on for today, I suppose.

Any idea what Donald Trump carries with him to make him such a huge success? According to a recent article in Psychology Today, it his ability to be a “Productive Narcissist.”

In his book, The Productive Narcissist: The Promise and Peril of Visionary Leadership, Michael Maccoby believes that this type of egotistical behavior is not all that bad. It has given people the edge in business, beacuse they have the freedom from internal constraint, “and this gives them the ability to change the world.”

The Productive Narcissist exhibit amazing “strategic intelligence,” meaning they exhibit foresight and are “systems” thinkers who do not let details bother them, are great motivators, and they know to partner with smart people. It works!

I was intrigued with this concept, so I am now delving deeper. I went online last night and took Maccoby’s assessment. From the looks of my scores, I guess I need to have a talk with Donald. I have been watching The Apprentice to learn more about this man, and to see what it is he does that works. One of the things I am seeing in the show that I do believe and that I find many people do not believe is that elbow grease combined with creative and strategic thinking do pay off. And…that it pays to work as a team and to get your destructive ego out of the way. Very cool program and is filled with some strong business feedback from Trump that I find extremely valuable. It is one reality show that I do feel is worth at least one watch.